the never ending battle between day jobs and day dreams.

most of us in the creative realm of society are fully aware how much it SUCKS to have a job that doesn’t satisfy your passion. every minute i spend doing anything other than writing (not including sleeping because i LOVE me some shut eye) i feel like is a waste of time. time that i could be focusing my energy into doing something mentally and emotionally productive. time i could be feeding my imagination, creating new content, bringing to life new ideas, and finding new avenues to make a living off of what i WANT to do. waking up each day and looking down the barrel of a 9+ hour day doing what you don’t want nor CARE to do is enough to make anyone a Grouch-a-soar-us Rex (my mom used to call me that as a kid when i woke up grumpy LOL).

and i get it - people have to work. we have to pay our bills, we have to eat, we have to put clothes on our backs and if you have a family, you have to do that multiple times over. i’m not so much of dreamer that i forget reality is indeed a real thing but i’m enough of a dreamer to feel like life cannot only consist of waking up, going to work at some job some person you never met dreamed of starting, fulfilling their dreams, supporting and paying for their lifestyle, and then come home to support your own lifestyle that you can barely afford because you spend 5 out of 7 days making money for a person you never met before. honestly, you don’t even have to be a dreamer to think that’s ludicrous.

what makes it tough for me though is that i don’t hate my job. i work for a rather large and renowned university. i have phenomenal benefits that include a free college education for not only myself but any potential husband or child i may have. i get an insane amount of vacation time and i have a great relationship with my boss. i don’t hate getting up and going to work because i have a bad work situation. and trust me - i’ve had a job where just the thought of the building would send me into a full blown panic attack. i hate getting up and going to work because i don’t feel passionate about what i do. i don’t feel like i’m helping anyone, i certainly don’t feel like i'm fullfilling any of my personal or professional goals for that matter, and i don’t feel like me going there day after day is benefiting anyone except the companies i'm in debt to. and as we all know - bad credit is a bad idea but it’s also the gun that’s held up to most of our heads, holding us hostage from pursuing our daydreams because our day job is at the top of the credit food chain.

i don’t know about you but i’m damn sure tired of being held hostage. i’m tired of suppressing my purpose just to live out someone else’s. i’m tired of people telling me “well you need to work” or “how will you support yourself” or “that sounds good but in the real world…”. well if i didn’t spend so many hours wasting time on shit i hate doing, i'd probably have plenty of time to figure it out however i don’t have that luxury now do i? *eye roll*  speaking of these types of questions, whatever you do - do not voice these kinds of thoughts to those in the generations above us. they will do nothing but say things to make you more frustrated, more resentful, and more bitter and honestly, it’s just not worth the headache. we didn’t grow up in their day and age and they aren’t trying to build a life in ours so no matter how many ways you attempt to show them your vision or they try to show you theirs, it’ll never be crystal clear to both parties..

if there is anything i know about life it’s that you must speak things into existence. you must constantly put good energy and good vibrations into the universe and with manifesting your thoughts, wants, desires, dreams, and goals, what you work for will come to fruition. if there is anything i know about myself it's that when i set my mind to do something - i do it. i don’t do it half assed, i go all the way in and i do not stop until i get what i want. i know without doubt that i can do anything i put my mind to and while i may be frustrated right now and feel like i’m stuck in a cycle i can't get out of, i know this is not it for me. i know one day i will wake up - not at 6 a.m. when it’s still dark out and the birds haven’t even started chirping yet- and i will be able to spend my day doing the things i care about, doing the things i know will make a difference in my life and in other people’s lives. that for me will be the ultimate level of success. 

so many people define the word success by how much money one makes or how many people know their name or what fancy car or shoes they sport around town in. but success doesn’t have to be that. it can be whatever you define it to be. success to me comes from doing whatever you truly love to do. if you love to sing, being successful at it doesn’t mean going on The Voice and winning the competition. it can be but why intimidate yourself right off the bat with that? rome wasn't built in a day my love! start small and work your way up to that. go to karaoke bars with your friends and sing your heart out with a bunch of drunk strangers. once you gain some confidence, check out an open mic night. if you like the vibe then start networking with other artists in your city and organize a showcase and just keep building from there. every one of those baby steps has an incredible amount of success attached to it. don’t live YOUR life by how other people define success. doing that is the ultimate way to set yourself up for failure. create your own definition and from there, pave your own pathway to live out your purpose.

every single day i start my day off in conversation with myself. i reiterate to myself that while i may have to go to work today, it’s not a forever situation. i set a goal each day that upon accomplishing, i will be able to take another step toward what i want my forever to be like. then i get out of bed and i start my day. some days i curse myself out the entire time i’m getting dressed and other days i’m energized and motivated. i’m a human first and foremost so of course i’m going to have my good and bad moments but i promise you, those conversations make a world of difference when it comes to how you approach a new day.

to make a long story short, if you are feeling the same as i do or find yourself in a similar mindset, follow my lead and start off with these 3 basic steps:

  1.  create your own definition of success. to hell with what Webster talking about, create your own definition and live by it.
  2. manifest your dreams, goals, and desires and CONSISTENTLY and CONTINUOUSLY speak them into existence! i want to be able to hear you all the way in Philly!

  3. give yourself daily pep talks! remember, you are your number one supporter and fan. treat yourself as such!


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love & light, 

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